Thoughts of the action different Countries would take if given 2 Cows! LOL
But don't think was written to be racist but to be funny so enjoy
Wish could say I wrote this.........
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, and then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.
AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows
One of them is a horse
But unfortunately guess I can say I wrote this as this is part of Canadian Politics!!! LOL
A CANADIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows
An old useless Senator borrows one for the weekend with the PM's approval, but the asshole doesn't bring it back & when asked denies taking one “I'm Sorry but didn't take one” and the PM supports him by going on national tv saying “ I'm Sorry but this hardworking Senator wouldn't lie but we'll have a Royal Commission to investigate” so a year later one is appointed (including the douchebag Senator) costing $10 million! Then the Government buys another cow for $1 million & the Public rebells (well in Canada would you believe maybe 10 peep demonstrate outside the Parliament bldg) saying something has to be done or we'll have our 4th election this year to change the government! But shit it's the weekend & by Mon shit all is forgotten! So the Government raise the GST to cover 100 cows (in case more disappear), the Senator is stressed so he vacations on his ranch with his 5000 cows in Argentina for 6 months at taxpayer's expense plus the PM & 200 freeloaders go on a trade commission to Tahiti for 6 weeks to look for cheaper cows to buy!!
Hell didn't want 1/2 million Chinese in Vancouver yelling racist & banning me from the 1000 Chinese places masquading as Japanese restaurants! But wtf if truth be known the cow was bought from a new Chinese immigrant who offered it cheap for $1 million cuz it was "The Year of the Cow" & the Gov't just had to allow them to skip normal Immgration for his family & entourage of 150 including cooks, dozen driving instructors, kid's Chinese teachers, herbal doctors, tai chi & fung choi advisors, etc. with an option for another 200 if needed! But later the Animal Rights Activists were pissed cuz the cow may have been gentically modified as it had rhino horns & bear gall bladder plus it looked vaguely like a dog!! Plus the Natives were pissed cuz bears were slaughtered on Native burial grounds! So the Gov't reneged & wanted to get one of the cows that lived to swim to Haida Guida after the tsuanmi in Japan but the Natives, Environmentalist, Human Rights, Beef Producers, peep wanting to stop Nuclear Profileration & peep with nothing better to do protested! So the Gov't decided to go the safe route & brought the cow from England but fuk peep came down with Mad Cow Disease so the Medical health providers & pyschologists were over worked so they they had to bring in 100 doctor from India & Bangladesh as the health care providers went on strike so health care cost doubled, peep died & kids became orphans & Family Services went on strike! So the Oppostion wanted to boycot & shut down the Gov't but fuk they forgot that everyone had already gone home for the 6 weeks Thanksgiving vacation period! So fuk all happened as usual & yada yada yada !!!!
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